Learn to Accept the Weeds in Your Life
As an obsessive-compulsive gardener, I became obsessed with getting rid of all the weeds in my yard, carefully pulling them out by the roots. I would spend hours over the course of each week ridding the yard of weeds, only to have them return with a vengeance four to six months later. I hurt my back, my feet and my hands, bent over for hours (any excuse to put off writing), pulling up every weed in my attempt at a perfect lawn. I know there are easier ways to kill weeds but I’m not the type to drown the lawn with chemicals and toxic weed killers, especially living only a mile or two from the Gulf of Mexico, Tampa Bay to be more exact.
Finally, after two years of having the weeds constantly return, I just decided to adopt a more zen attitude and “be one with the weeds.” I realized I had to let go of my compulsive need to control every inch of the lawn. I was making myself crazy over something that didn’t really matter in the big picture of my life.
Stopping with the weed pulling was one thing, but not letting their heinous existence bother me every time I walked by was another matter. Surprisingly though, once I consciously made the decision to accept the existence of those weeds, some switch flipped in my brain. Now the weeds don’t bother me at all — I no longer have the compulsive desire to bend down every time I see a weed and pull it out. I have put the battle of the weeds behind me, and instead I now focus on planting colorful tropical plants and the bigger picture of the yard.
You must think I’m ridiculous for letting a few weeds bother me so much, but everybody has “weeds” in their life — those little pesky things that are constantly messy, untidy, imperfect, annoying or out of order. Don’t try to control everything and everyone around you. You can’t control your boyfriend or your co-workers or your roommates. It’s like herding ferrel cats, sweetie. People, cats and even weeds have a mind of their own! There are many things you can’t control in your life. Loosen up and accept that some things — cats, dogs, bugs, weeds and even people — will just not cooperate.
Learning to accept life’s little imperfections as well as some of its bigger imperfections is key to your peace of mind. Your life will always have weeds of one kind or another. Don’t let it keep you from appreciating the big picture of your life. Remember, even with all of those “weeds” there are people who would trade places with you in a heartbeat.
Is there something in your life that bugs you on a regular basis, but in the big scheme of things doesn’t really matter? Maybe it’s a loud neighbor (buy some earplugs, it'll change your life), or you think you have too many moles, or you have a roommate with annoying habits. I once had a roommate who left used cotton balls, Q-tips, and tissues all over the living room floor (you know who you are). Does it affect your livelihood, your job, your health, your love life, your future? If not, stop letting it steal your bliss, or “harsh on your mellow” as my hippie brother used to say. Make a conscious decision to let it go. Don’t waste another minute of your time trying to “fix” something that doesn’t really matter.
My lawn has a ton of weeds (if you really look), but with the beautiful palms and all colorful tropical plants, it’s still the prettiest yard on our street! Focus on the good stuff, sweetie, not the weeds!
Rebecca Pavlik is the author of Time to Break Some Rules, Sweetie! a humorous advice book for young women. For more details and to view on Amazon click here.