If You Suck at Normal Life, Maybe You Shouldn't be Living a Normal Life.
Maybe You Should Be Living an Extraordinary Life!
Homo-sapiens can be divided into two groups: homo-normalis and homo-extraordinarous. Some people don’t do well trying to fit into modern society, and from outward appearances, they seem to “suck at life.” Being a “normal” or “successful” person in today’s world is just harder for some people than others. Some people have a hard time conforming, fitting in, and doing what everyone expects of them. And by “everyone” I mean society in general. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
On paper, these individuals may seem to suck at life. Society labels them as “free spirits,” or rebels, or just plain weird, but in reality, these are often highly intelligent, creative people, who will never fit into a corporate office environment. These unique individuals can’t just go with the flow because they have a different vision of the world — they see things differently. And that’s a good thing. Steve Jobs famously called them the “misfits” and he meant that in a good way.
Here is Steve Jobs’ famous quote: “Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
If you think you are one of these people, then embrace your view of the world and your unique vision of how you want to live your life. You may never own a big house in the suburbs, you may never make a ton of money, but you may travel the world, you may write a great novel, you may create great artwork, be a gifted musician, or create something that no one has even thought of yet.
Maybe you don’t possess any great artistic gift, but you know what makes you happy, what makes you feel alive and maybe it’s something completely different than the standard definition of success. Just by living your life in some unconventional or uniquely authentic way, you will probably end up being a huge inspiration to others.
The world needs nonconformists and people that question societal norms — true individuals like Billy Porter, Yayoi Kusama, Temple Grandin, Kehinde Wiley, Greta Thunberg, Banksy, and Gloria Steinem, just to name a few.
A lot of what we do in modern society to fit in and be normal is simply ridiculous in the big scheme of things, but we don’t question it because “everybody does it.” Furthermore, a lot of things women do just to fit in and be attractive is even more ridiculous, yet so many women feel the pressure to do all these things because “that’s what women do.”
If you feel like you suck at life, don’t fret, darling. It’s probably not you, it could just be the culture, society, or the times you’re living in. You’re not a robot that can be programmed. Nobody can tell you what success means to you, only what success means to them. In many societies throughout history, success was simply not starving to death, finding a mate, having children and not dying in childbirth — Yay! That was success!
Our modern society has become so complicated that our idea of “success” has reached ridiculous and unsustainable proportions. We now worry about being a success in 20 different ways, all at the same time. It’s even worse for women. We feel like we have to look hot, make good money, find an amazing mate, start our own business, have kids, be an amazing mother, know how to write code, cook gluten-free organic vegan gourmet meals, have 20,000 followers on Instagram, go to yoga class everyday, save the earth, have a perfect house, design websites….the list goes on. I’m here to tell you, it’s not possible, doing all of this, all at the same time. Cut yourself some slack, sweetie.
Try being good at just one thing. One thing. If you’re good at one thing, then I applaud you! I sincerely am proud of you for being good at that one thing, whatever it is. The rest of your life may be imperfect and messy, but that’s just how life is. People with perfect houses tend not to be famous novelists or artists or adventurers. Take your pick.
Don’t worry about how people will judge you, because they will be judging you by their standards, not yours, so in their eyes you will never measure up. Just worry about what’s important and interesting to you. Toss the rest out the window and go live that unique and extraordinary life!
The above post is an excerpt from Rebecca Pavlik’s new book Time to Break Some Rules, Sweetie! a humorous advice book for young women based on her time in Los Angeles working in the entertainment industry. For more details and to view on Amazon click here. Also available on Apple, Kobo, Nook, and Google Play.