Be a "Yes" Person, Not a "No" Person
I know you. You will find 10 reasons not to do something. Something that might actually be fun, something that’s a little bit out of your comfort zone. Something where you might meet new people, or heaven forbid, find romance.
If you’re anything like me, you can talk yourself out of anything. You’re smart and very analytical and will therefore come up with 10 or 20 reasons why the whole thing will go awry. You over-think everything! Stop thinking and start doing! Start living! Stop silently saying 'no' to everything and start saying 'yes.'
The world is not a scary place where only bad things happen — you’ve just been reading too much news. The world is your oyster, dear! Go out and enjoy it! The world is an amazing place where wonderful things happen everyday, and by not going out into the world and taking part, you are missing out on all those things. Go out into the world and start having little adventures!
If you’re anything like me, you can talk yourself out of anything. I love the quote, “If all objections must first be overcome, nothing would ever be accomplished.” Don’t go through life as a Debbie Downer, that super negative character from Saturday Night Live. Don’t be the one who constantly points out what’s wrong with everything, or why this thing won’t work or that thing will fail. Even if something doesn’t turn out exactly the way you were hoping, it’s still a good thing that you tried or that you did it — you will have experienced something new! You will have had a little adventure and an interesting story to tell.
Instead of coming up with reasons not to do things, make a mental note to come up with reasons to do things, especially those things that you know deep down you want to do, or might be fun or worthwhile. Try seeing the world as a place where only (or mostly) good things happen. In fact, what if you went out into the world everyday expecting good things to happen instead of the opposite? Your whole life would be different! Just imagine going to a party and expecting to meet nice, interesting people — your positive outlook will completely change your experience! Think of all the things you would do if you knew ahead of time that it would work out, it would be fun, and that nothing would go wrong.
Another reason we don’t do try new things is that we’re afraid of not doing it well and looking foolish. Don’t worry what other people think. We’re all silly, awkward humans who look foolish a lot of the time. So what! If everyone was afraid of looking foolish, no one would ever sing or dance, let alone have sex.
Shonda Rhimes, the famous TV writer-producer, wrote an interesting book about this topic titled Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person. Even though she’s one of the most successful writer-producers in Hollywood, she reveals in her book that she had a tendency to say ‘no’ to everything outside of work. Realizing this, she decided to spend a year saying 'yes' to every invitation and opportunity that came up. It changed her life. She was already successful, but it opened her life up to so many other things and completely changed her outlook. So, become a ‘yes’ person, my dear. Get out there and start having some adventures!
#advice #dating #adventure #success #mental-health
Rebecca Pavlik is the author of Time to Break Some Rules, Sweetie! a humorous advice book for young women. For more details and to view on Amazon click here.