Accept That Life Isn't Fair
And many things will not turn out the way you expected.
You will probably have a few lucky breaks here and there, but over the course of your entire life, not everything will go your way. Some things will turn out well, some things will not turn out so well and other things will be a complete train wreck. No matter how smart or clever or good-looking you are, lovers will dump you, employers will fire you, accidents will happen and you will have a few major screw-ups and failures along the way. That's just what we call life. Don't take it all so personally, darling!
Life can be planned but it cannot be predicted (as they say). Accept the fact that every now and then, things will not turn out how you planned. Not accepting this fact can turn into envy and bitterness. Comparing your life to others, whether they’re your friends, family or celebrities, is unhealthy.
Everybody in this world has a different path. We all have our own unique journey, and so many things happen that are simply beyond our control. Not only do we have different journeys, we end up in different places! Life is anything but fair, pumpkin. This is perhaps the harshest of realities that we must come to terms with.
When you think about how wildly different most people’s lives are in this crazy world, “fair” is not how we should look at life. It is our expectations of how our life should be — at all times — that can cause so much frustration, disappointment and unhappiness. Thinking that life should be fair and that your life should be a certain way is a form of entitlement. The world doesn’t owe you a big pot of gold, a giant house in the suburbs, or anything else, darling.
There are some great Buddhist sayings about expectations, such as, “peace begins when expectation ends,” and “serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” It’s not that you shouldn’t set goals in life, or expect good things to happen sometimes, it’s that your attachment to those expectations will cause frustration, grief and unhappiness when things don’t turn out the way you were excepting them to.
Your path is unique unto you — like a fingerprint. Your rollercoaster ride will have ups and downs. Accept that you will go through trying times, just like everyone else. Try to be prepared for hard times — financially and emotionally. And whatever walk of life you hale from, and no matter how many college degrees you hold, or who your parents are, you are not entitled to anything, despite what you make think. A good life will not automatically be handed to you. You have to create your own life, and nurture it like a garden, constantly. Plant the seeds for the fruit you desire. Always be planting seeds, my darlings. Even then, there are no guarantees.
Some people have amazing luck in life (this is the “not fair” part), although luck is sometimes just placing yourself in situations where good things can happen, and simply showing up (and working really hard). Whatever you do sweetie, at least have the good sense to not place yourself in situations where bad things are bound to happen! Choices made at a young age can have a huge impact on the rest of your life — they can take you down a road you really hadn’t intended to go down. Try to make smart choices, strategic choices, healthy and nurturing choices. Be true to your heart. If you’re true to your heart, you will usually make the right choice, or at the very least, you will always be moving in the right direction.
But still, even the best laid plans can go awry, as the saying goes. Be okay with that. Be okay with life’s changes and unpredictability, it’s what makes life interesting. It’s what makes people interesting. Life, even with all of its ups and downs, is truly a miracle and a gift. And at any given moment, even when something didn’t go your way, try to appreciate all that you do have.
#success #failure #advice #perseverance
Rebecca Pavlik is the author of Time to Break Some Rules, Sweetie! a humorous advice book for young women. For more details and to view on Amazon click here.